the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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