i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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