His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
