Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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