Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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