Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
