I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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