question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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