After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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