Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
