the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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