we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Found your dick twin last night
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
