...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
