he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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