So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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