Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
