he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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