Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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