I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
