Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have tasted many bathrooms
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize