Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
