He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
