THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think your dad took our porno
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
