I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
