You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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