i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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