thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
