i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
