So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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