Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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