Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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