lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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