don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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