im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
