a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
