yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
