i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
