She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
