like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
