Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
