you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
