Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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