so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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