alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
