She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
