I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize