I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
