Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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