Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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