I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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