i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
