tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
