I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
