hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
