JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
