her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
