I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
