the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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