the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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