??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize