we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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